How to Help your ADHD Child
Most healthy children are busy, active and constantly running around. But if your child has been given a diagnosis of ADHD, you’ll be looking for answers. Understanding your child and…
Children in Mind : Their mental health in today’s world and what we can do to help them
Are today’s children and teenagers more mentally distressed than they used to be, and if so, why? What is it about today’s world that seems not well suited to children?…
10 lessons learned from the Covid19 pandemic
It’s not always easy to be Zen in a crisis when other people are suffering High stress can intensify your flaws and frailties – but it can also open up…
Surviving the madness of the coronavirus pandemic – going into lockdown
I’m constantly having to update my articles about the COVID19 pandemic because the context is changing by the day. The underlying wisdom of this constant revision is that we all…
Keeping children safe
According to the late professor of psychiatry and infant mental health specialist, Daniel Stern, one of the psychological challenges facing parents, especially mothers or primary caregivers, is that of keeping…
Today’s Child – Raising 21st Century Kids
Today’s children are growing up in a different world to the one most of us experienced as children. Adapting to this new and constantly changing world is a challenge, not…
The Transgender Child
When a young boy repeatedly dresses up as a girl, behaves like a girl and is absolutely determined to be treated as if he were a girl, it can put…
Why you should play team sport, whatever your age!
I often find myself recommending to parents that their troubled children should play a team sport. It isn’t the cure-all, and there are usually a multitude of other aspects to…
Playing with games and toys that are not digital
Some children as young as two years old can navigate their way around cel phones, laptops and ipads. Toys and games are fast going out of fashion. New millenium kids…
Playing makes children happy!
As a psychologist I am privileged to be able to spend a lot of time with children doing play therapy. This gives me a unique and special opportunity to see…
When your child needs you less!
For some people, the hardest part of being a parent is knowing when and how to let go. When it comes to the psychology of babies and young children, everyone…
Does your child have anxiety?
When children are distressed, they often don’t show it and they can’t always find the words to say how they are feeling. Anxiety in children can manifest in a number…
Weaning your baby: A psychological perspective
Yesterday I had such an interesting meeting with some of my Cape Town based ‘Babies in mind’ practitioners. The topic of our discussion was weaning. We were so interested in…
Parenting through Adoption
BY JANYS ORELOWITZ BABIES IN MIND PRACTITIONER, SPECIALISING IN ADOPTION One of the toughest problems adoptive parents face is that of talking to children about the reasons they were placed…
Infancy – 1001 Critical Days
Recently I attended a meeting at the Western Cape Association for Infant Mental health, an affiliation of the World Association for Infant Mental Health. Prof Astrid Berg, child and adolescent psychiatrist…
Children’s Rights
Children in Mind is concerned with anything related to the mental health, behaviour and emotions of children. So we support these 10 principles of the UN Convention on the Rights…
Infants’ Rights – World Association for Infant Mental Health
The latest ‘Perspectives in Infant Mental Health’ (an online professional publication of the World Association for Infant Mental Health (WAIMH) outlines the new Declaration of the Infant’s Rights. In 2012,…
High self-esteem or just narcissistic?
Eight year old Shaun seems extremely confident and self-assured. He tells everyone that he is a genius and the cleverest boy in the country. He is desperate for approval by…
Getting a toddler off breastfeeds and nightfeeds
Last week I received this e-mail with a query from someone who attended one of the ‘Babies in Mind’ workshops a few years ago. She has since moved to Australia,…
What babies need from their parents
I have been reading an interesting book by Graham Music called ‘Nurturing Natures. It’s about attachment, emotional and brain development and it’s well worth reading, particularly for people who work with…
What is your baby or toddler thinking?
I have just listened to a brilliant TED talk about what it’s like inside the mind of a baby. The talk is by Alison Gopnik, professor or psychology and philosophy…
Donor egg and sperm children: What should parents tell them about their origins?
Recently I attended a fascinating workshop called ‘Mothers and Fathers of Invention’ facilitated by the skilled and highly knowledgable Cape Town based clinical psychologist, Diane Sandler, and based on the…
Child-raising has become more gentle in 21st Century
The Harvard based psychology professor, Steven Pinker, in his life-changing book entitled The Better Angels of our Nature makes a powerful argument for the fact that, contrary to popular belief,…
Teaching Babies to Trust
Cape Town based Babies in Mind practitioner, Carly Abramowitz, says the following about trust. “We often speak about the importance of trust between a child and caregiver. But what does…
Parenting in the Digital Age
Johannesburg-based Imago Relationship and Parenting Therapist, Lome Koekemoer, has this to say about parenting in the age of technology: “When we grow up, we learn a great deal about problem…
Can babies be left alone?
From an evolutionary perspective, human babies are designed to stay close to their mothers so that they can be protected from danger. This is also true for some animal babies….
Get your baby to sleep
Not all babies are the same so there is no ‘one size fits all’ perfect sleep solution, and often what works for one baby doesn’t work for another. If there…
Reflections on Adopting a Baby
One of our Cape Town based Babies in Mind practitioners, Wynette Vels – who offers adoption counseling – sent me this beautiful prose. It’s written especially for adoptive parents but…
Ghosts in the Nursery – When your past effects your parenting
I have just been re-reading a famous paper by the pioneering Infant Mental Health Specialist, Selma Fraiberg about what she called “Ghosts in the Nursery”. It’s about how our parenting…
Does my baby need a routine?
Some babies are predictably unpredictable! Others seem to gravitate towards a fairly predictable daily rhythm. If your baby seems to want a feed or a nap at different times each…
How to help your baby
Why does your baby need you to join our ‘Babies in Mind’ network and attend our parent workshops? Psychologists are always going on about how mental health rests on the…
Beyond Dr Spock
When we become new parents, there are many voices that try to guide us. Remember that the loudest voice should be your baby’s. Quote by Port Elizabeth based psychologist and Babies in Mind…
The value of a mother
Do you ever feel under-valued, under-paid and unappreciated as a mother? The commitment and devotion is takes to raise a child means being there every day – and night –…
Protecting your child from sexual abuse
The effects of sexual abuse on a child are very serious and they can last a lifetime. It is devastating for parents to discover that their child has been abused,…
Superbaby
Check out this page for a few mind-boggling facts about the super-powers of babies. There is so much that babies can do that we aren’t always aware of. Their unique…
Older child and new baby
I recently received an e-mail from a reader, Mia, who asks the following question: After 5 and a half years of Sharon being an only child, getting our full attention…
What not to expect from your baby
Don’t expect parenthood to be easy Don’t expect breastfeeding to go smoothly and easily from the very beginning, but try to persevere if possible Don’t expect too much from yourself…
10 Survival Tips for New Moms and Dads
Don’t expect your baby to do what the baby books say she should be doing. Don’t expect him to sleep through the night. If he does, that’s fabulous, but many…
Why your baby doesn’t sleep
There are so many reasons that some babies have poor or disruptive sleep patterns, and we can’t always find the perfect sleep solution for every baby. But research suggests that…
Are computers bad for kids?
Parents often have concerns that modern technology could be harmful to children. For those of us who did not grow up with computers, it can be really hard to watch…
Does your child need physio?
I attended a really interesting lecture recently at the Western Cape Association of Infant Mental Health. Pam Versfeld is a physiotherapist who works a lot with babies and children who…
Advice from a Bipolar Mom
I have just finished reading the most fabulous book by Rahla Xenopoulos entitled, A Memoir of Love and Madness. Rahla has a bipolar disorder (manic depression) and she is the…
The Tiger Mother
I have just read the famously controversial book by Amy Chua called, Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother. The author and tiger mother is from a strict, Chinese immigrant background,…
Disorders in babies
A couple of weeks ago, at the monthly meeting of the Western Cape Association for Infant Mental Health, we were fortunate enough to host Prof Chris Milton, a paediatrician who…
Delinquent behavior in children and teenagers
What do you do when your child or your teenager breaks the law? How should you react when your child is caught stealing, shoplifting, using drugs or engaging in other…
Can children learn two languages at the same time?
When two parents speak different languages – for example, one parent is French and the other is English – it can be confusing to decide which language to use when…
Keeping teenagers safe
Teenagers are terrifying! Your levels of anxiety as a parent of a teenagers can be high, partly because they want and need to do things without you and partly because…
Mistakes parents make
Making mistakes is the price you pay for knowledge Anonymous Knowledge about babies and children comes less from parenting books and much more from personal experience. As parents, we…
Co sleeping with a baby
Parents often ask whether it’s a good or a bad thing to sleep with their new babies. Some of the more hard core believers of strict sleep training argue that…
Effects of childhood stress, trauma and mental illness
Someone sent me a link to a fascinating article on medscape news today. It’s about the link between stress and trauma during childhood (including childhood-onset mental disorders) and physical illness…
How to get kids to eat
Because of the possible health implications, it can be scary when your child refuses to eat. A poor appetite may be an indication of an underlying illness so if your…
Star charts for bad behavior
As I was reading Mommy Masters parenting tip for August, I was reminded about the incredible value of behavior charts – also known as star charts. The psychology world is…
Support for adoptive parents
This life can be very hard when we try to walk its path alone. The same goes for parenthood and also for the adoption process. Adoption is not without its…
Attention seeking twin
Recently, I went along as a guest to a Thinking Moms Group in Cape Town. This lively, intelligent group of women get together once a month to talk about issues…
Children need grandparents
Marion Barends e-mailed me recently to ask some advice about her high need grandson. It got me thinking about how lucky her daughter is to have a mom who is…
Understanding your child’s eating disorder
Anorexia and bulimia are extremely complex psychiatric disorders and there are loads of different theories about what causes them and how to treat them. Inevitably, as with so many other…
Two year old turns into monster
I know a group of grannies that meet for coffee and a chat every Friday morning. Recently, they had a conversation about their precious grandchildren. Why is it, they asked…
Sleep Problems in Children
Loads of babies are notoriously bad sleepers. Meg Faure, author of a range of baby books such as Babysense and Sleepsense, offers useful tips for helping babies to get…
Cross-Racial Adoption in South Africa
These days in South Africa it is becoming quite common and increasingly popular for white families to adopt black and mixed race babies. There are very few white or Indian…
Parenting a Sick Child
A mother of a critically ill child once said to me, Children are easy – until they get sick. Most parents are familiar with the stress of having a sick…
Needy Toddlers
Lately I’ve been getting quite a few requests for help from parents of toddlers. For example, Kerry writes about her 2 year old twin boys, Everyone talks about the challenging…
Teenage pregnancy
I was impressed and encouraged when I heard Miss South Africa 2011, Bokang Montjane, being interviewed about teen pregnancy in South Africa. Her interest and commitment to being involved in…
Does your child need therapy?
Although it has become much more popular in recent decades, play therapy has actually been around since the 1920’s. Early pioneers such as Anna Freud and Melanie Klein created models…
What is a good parent?
Part of the madness about being a parent is the feeling that you’re getting it all wrong and your kids are suffering as a result. It can cause debilitating guilt…
How to be a parent
The thing about parenting is that loads of people like to tell you how to do it. There can be a real pressure to parent the right way. This can…
How to raise a happy child
When thinking about how to raise your child, you will no doubt be trying to create a happy childhood for him or her. But your child will not always only…